my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
