Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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