He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
