I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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