i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
