Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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