Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Pooping to opera.
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