Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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