I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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