nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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