did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
