He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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