Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
