ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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