My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
