unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
