your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
