thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
