sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish i was in the wii world.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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