addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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