Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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