Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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