i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize