i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
