Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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