He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
