My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
