okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
