Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
