I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
