Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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