all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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