I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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