What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i out mim tonsoeep
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