very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
