Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
