Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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