My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
