He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
