Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize