Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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