Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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