Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
