I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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