I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
