If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize