Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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