Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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