clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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