Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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