my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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