I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
