So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
