I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
