ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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