You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
