Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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