is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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