Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
