Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
