Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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