one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago