i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
